Amazing New Discovery

Last night, absent any books on my nightstand, I picked up something called a "magazine".

Amazing. It holds collections of stories in something called "print" on "pages" of "paper". It requires no battery, no scrolling, no mouse clicks, and it's totally portable! I read many fascinating stories until, unable to hold my eyes open any longer, I drifted off to pleasant sleep.

I must further investigate this new technology.